I am sitting by the window again.
Seeing nothing and everything.
The world is blurring by before my eyes and I see only shadows of sorrow and life.
The cup in my hand is warm, the steam wafts up my nostrils. The fragrant herbs are tantalizing, but I cannot bring myself to sip the healing brew.
I am wishing for you, I know.
The sky is one darkened blob, a canvas that I am not worthy to describe.
This conflict consumes me.
But you understand, I know.
So many words have come from me. I do not know if I have more to give.
You have taken these worn hands and bathed them tenderly in your love, annointing them with talent, blessing them with truth.
Your presence is like falling snow, I know.
I feel you.
Your warmth wraps around me, suspending me in your security. I want to stay here, forever.
I am drained, empty and afraid again.
But you are here, I know.
My head hurts, my eyes burn.
The tears are falling now.
The blur becomes watery, my mind fades away.
You let me cry, I know.
I listen anxiously for your approval, your refreshment. I am so very tired of this feeling.
The pages are empty, staring back at me.
You are telling me something, I know.
I stare out the window, bringing nature to focus.
Stick straight trees stare back at me. The branches are bare, the limbs are weatherd, but the expression is beauty I want to write.
You are nudging me forward, I know.
My emptiness is nothing. If I let you fill me.
This strange laziness is nothing. If I let you use me.
When I want you I call, I know.
But when I need you, I am silent. My existence is a shadow, the tiniest blur, a flash if I am empty.
If I am empty, I have no choice. No other place to go.
But if I am full, how will you fill me, this much, I know...Heavenly Father.
Sara Harricharan is a young Christian woman with a passion for writing for the Lord through faith-filled Science Fiction/Fantasy stories and pure words. www.fictionfusion.blogspot.com
Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com
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