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Remembering Papa

by KRISTI S  
10/31/2006 / Death

I have been meaning to share my thoughts about Papa and Nanny for several weeks. For those of you who know us well, you will remember that Eric was visiting SC for a wedding when he heard the news that his grandparents and Aunt Brenda were killed in their home on that day by Brendas husband. It was of course a shocking and surreal day for everyone who knew and loved them. In Gods goodness Eric was in SC and able to immediately be with his parents, who found the scene of their deaths. It has been a long, hard month without them. Im not going to even attempt to discuss the thoughts and questions of eternal and unsolvable nature that I have. Those are truly between my God and me, and I will daily leave them at His feet where they belong. You might like to know that I am not angry with God. I am at peace knowing that He does with His children as He pleases, both for His glory and our good. For anyone that would call that statement curt or insensitive I must say that its simply not true. I miss both of them so much, and in some ways I feel like the last memories with them and hopes of future memories with them were whisked away with no explanation. We are trusting God in this. The only way to abide in Jesus Christ (John 15) is to rest in the fact that God knows everything and apart from living and trusting Jesus with every question and breath of our minds and hearts, we would be nothing and could do nothing. We will not survive the harshness of this fallen world without Jesus Christ. Papa and Nanny especially knew and lived this, so let me share a little bit about them with you. Obviously everyone who had the pleasure of knowing them likely has a different perspective and different memories. I knew them for seven years, so if you would like to be blessed, sit a minute and take in their aroma; I invite you to smell a truly pleasing aroma that magnified the God of this universe, the Savior to fallen hearts.

Today I will start by writing to you about our Papa. I will save my thoughts concerning Nanny for a separate post. I assure you, Nanny would not like this, making them separate and all, but I am taking that liberty because they deserve a little more space on my cyber-paper so I can devote more thinking time to each, and you can read them better. I hope for our family this is a sweet reminder of the blessing they will always be to us, and for those who did not know them, that it will inspire you to love God more. Indeed, thats what they would want.

Papa was a big man not overweight, just really tall. Perhaps it was the ceilings in their quaint house, but when I walked through the door, he would tower over me. He would hold the door open with a big smile, and there would be no delay for a big hug. I loved to see his big eyes, his big smile, and his gorgeous, white hair. He portrayed the image of God of a very present help in time of trouble. If I were in trouble, I would want Papa there to help. When I walked in the door of their home, Papa would always smile and say, Well, helllllo, Kristi! (Hed say the hello really long and drawn-out, but hed say my name really short. I think thats because for the first couple years Eric and I were together, Nanny called me Krissy, and no doubt Papa was probably always trying to remember if it was Krissy or Kristi! haha) Well, the point is that he always tried to make me feel welcome, as if I belonged there just as much as that coat rack he stuck on the wall. Papa would perch himself on the stool in the kitchen or his favorite armchair in the living room, and he would smile and listen to whatever conversation we had to share that day. Usually at some point he would interject a story about way back when, and wed all have a good laugh by the time it was over (because he was often quiet, and when he would speak, he could get somewhat long-winded at times).

He had such big, strong hands. I sometimes entertained the sad thought that I never knew him when he had the energy to work harder than his later years offered him. He loved to fix things and was very handy. He repaired our vehicles many times, and anything that anyone needed done, he would try to do. He worked for decades on the railroad, and it had a way of shaping him into who he became. Just as the news article upon his death mentioned of his constant Scripture reading and study, I can say that I witnessed him many times sitting in his chair, quietly meditating on the Word of God. He treasured it As much as we know, every morning Papa and Nanny sat together and read a daily devotional. It was usually the monthly Lifeway publication, Open Windows, which they would pick up at church; no doubt they would spend time reading the Bible alongside it. Nanny also faithfully read Journey for women, which I will share about in my later post. After they were killed we found the books setting on the kitchen table where they usually were, opened to December 17th's reading. "Be Steadfast" was the heading, summarized by 1 Corinthians 15:58. A prayer concluded the reading as follows, "Lord, thank You for setting the perfect example of perseverance. Help me to keep my eyes on the tast You have for me." It was regular habits such as these that made Papa the man he was. Papa was loyal to his church, his family, and to Jesus. His head was full of the knowledge his faith, yet his feet walked by it. Usually he was watching TV if we came by in the afternoons, but despite his age, his brain wasnt turned off. He was the epitome of quality time, and just being together was his pleasure. He was a perfect gentleman. He loved holding our babies and playing with them. His life radiated the joy of doing what is right and living to take care of others, even though his own health failed him in his last years.

Unlike many elderly men, he was beaming with joy when he was in church. I think a true disciple of Jesus grows happier as they age, not the grumpy complainers that some older folks sadly become. Thats what I dream of becoming when I think of myself as an elderly woman who is excitedly waiting to be with Jesus (I want long, beautiful gray hair, by the way)! He embodied this verse from Psalm 84: My soul longed and even yearned for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh sing for joy to the living God. Papas quiet contentment and humility were his strength, and through those he brought much glory to God. He was the resilient fixture of his home, at times a silent statue of joy in His Savior, providing a simple and peace-loving headship for his family and all who entered his life. I, like others in the family, see such striking physical and spiritual resemblances between my husband and Papa. Eric genuinely revered his Papa in so many tangible ways; in fact that was one of the very first things I notice about my husband-to-be. I thank God incessantly that he had such a willing and beautiful example of Christ-like humility set before him during his youth.

The best thing about Papas life is I confidently rest in the fact that his story had a happy ending. His painful death here carried him peacefully into the arms of the lover of His soul, Jesus Christ. I dont believe for a minute that Papa is just in a better place. No, he is there, in the perfect house of the living God, dwelling with Jesus Christ forever. In Scripture Paul writes, If we have hoped in Christ in this life only, we are of all men most to be pitied (1 Corinthians 15:19). Because of this and only because of this -- Jesus, the perfect God, took the place of our wretchedness and died a cruel, horrible death on a cross, was buried and then brought back to life by Gods power --- Papa lived on earth free from the chains of death, and now free from the agony of hell. No, hell is a place that Papa never had to see. Call me the biggest fool in the world, but this is the truth: Papa Ford is alive and spending every waking moment in the most amazing place with the Church and the One and only God and Savior, Jesus Christ!
I hope you know Him, oh, how I hope you know Jesus. If you dont, call His name right now. I cant wait to be with Jesus and with all of my family who love Him. I cant wait to get there, walk in, and eventually hear that big, tall man say, Well, helllllo, Kristi!

Kristi is the wife of Eric, a worship pastor, in South Carolina. She is a mother to three children under the ages of three and enjoys finding God manifesting Himself by grace to her as she serves them from within their home.

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