I’ve been a Christian now since 1999. I can even remember the three times I really wanted to quit. One thing for sure, if you’re a Christian, then you’ve been through; long tests, difficult trials, uncomfortable feelings, leading with your emotions, the feeling of your enemies trying to destroy you, seeing your enemies prosper without struggle, religious folk who wrongly divide the word based on earthly wisdom, and living with that unsaved spouse can make you just scream “I QUIT!” The intensity of the uncertainty and the intensity not being able to focus on anything but the negative things, the intensity of anxiety, just makes you want to scream “I QUIT!”
The first time, religious folk had me confused by wrongly dividing the word. They based everything on earthly wisdom and personal beliefs. Pentecostal faith believes strongly in outer holiness appearance. “Don’t wear pants!, don’t wear makeup!, and don’t cut my hair!” Well, they told me and showed me in the bible supporting verses. I know for a fact that if your inner spirit ain’t right, then that outer holiness appearance that you work on so hard is just an appearance. Pants are a sin! Jesus wouldn’t have a television because it’s a tool of the world! Whew, thank God for studying to show my self approved! God uses vessels and tools of the world even today. God continues today using sinners as vessels and tools of the world to benefit His ministry. He takes common people and made them peculiar people. In my season of being Pentecostal, I’ve learned that it’s how you use that tool of the world and the final outcome.
The second time, my name was being dragged through the mud. It felt like folk rather believe in lies rather than the truth. At the time, I was only dating my husband. I was on the floor in the bathroom crying and repeating softly “I QUIT!” He spoke great words of encouragement. In his heart, he knew I was not myself to say I OUIT on God! He hugged me tightly and allowed me to cry upon his shoulder. While I was crying, he raised my head and he began ministering to me. He comforted my spirit that day. He made me realize, quitting was not an option.
Before I moved from Texas, I did a 40 day fast. I wrote a list of things for me, my friends, and family I wanted God to fix, or bring into existence. During that time, God strengthen, developed a level of potency, and gave my writing depth. I didn’t realize this until about a week ago after hearing Joyce Meyer. I was with the majority, expecting God to bless me with just money without the work. My abundant blessing that I didn’t have room enough to receive was my writing ability (my talent). God blessed me so much-that at times, I couldn’t sleep I had to write. My talent was in overdrive and overflowing! I had a desire and a hunger to write. It has become an urge I can’t get rid of. This is my abundant blessing that will open doors and place me before great men. In my mind, titles would form with an ease. Everything flowed! Uninterrupted and focused because I felt my calling within me pressing outward so others could be ministered to.
The third time I wanted to quit on God was because he seemed distant. It seemed as if I had to force myself to study His word, practice at being patient, careful of my tongue, being mindful of my attitude. I noticed I had a complaining spirit. I noticed the heathens going about his or her slacking ways. I asked God, why am I seeing all this? God it seems like you’re doing nothing! Well, because of my stinking thinking, I began slacking too! It was a battle I couldn’t win because I knew better. Mentally, I would say to myself “if they won’t do it then, neither will I!” It seemed to me all their left over work was passed down to me. Why? God Why? God placed these verses upon my heart regarding my job, God led me to Hab. 1:3-4 “Why do You show my iniquity and wrong, and Yourself look upon or cause me to see perverseness and trouble? For destruction and violence are before me; and there is strife, and contention arises. Therefore the law is slackened and justice and a righteous sentence never go forth, for the (hostility of the) wicked surrounds the (uncompromisingly) righteous; therefore justice goes forth perverted. Glory for the answer! Hab. 1:5 “Look around (you, Habakkuk, replied the Lord) among the nations and see! And be astonished! Astounded! For I am putting into effect a work in your days (such) that you would not believe it if it were told you.” The straw that broke the camel’s back, my husband needing to see faith in spite of what God’s word says. I hate to say this but, because of his disbelief, I screamed “I QUIT!” for the third time.
This time something was different! As I lay in bed, thinking negatively and trying to resort back to world, an inner voice would not let me quit. I’m use to watching Joyce Meyer, Paula White, Creflo Dollar, Blakes, and T.D. Jakes. Yet, I would turn the channel so quickly when either person was on. An inner voice from within said “let me minister to you!” “You can’t avoid me!” “You need to be ministered to!” Honestly, I felt uncomfortable not being ministered to. A voice, His voice was speaking to me all along. He was never distant! He was on the sideline. He was my prayerful cheerleader that was praying for me to be proven. My realization, when we’re called, there is no option for us to quit.
Note: Sometimes God will allow us to be tested. Why? We need to be proven! He wants us to go through because our faith must be proven. The devil tried Job’s faith. Yet, he remained faithful, just, and prayerful, and unchanged by his circumstances.
The call of God’s voice was so powerful and so pronounced that I had to obey. He wouldn’t let me refuse Him! Why? God knew and He judged my heart instead of my actions. I’m so grateful that God knew what was in my heart. Sometimes I fall, it may take some time for me to get back up and I also realize that I may have been delayed, but I am still destined!
God will difintely go out before us and announce us. We can rest and have assurance that our call will let all others know we belong to God. We are His children! Suddenly, from called to chosen, we’ve made the decision to finish the race that God has placed before us.
In God’s word, God never promised to make any man’s title great, He promised to make our names great. How? God will use “The Call,” but only if we’ve decided to be chosen.
Note: I thought for the longest time that God would make me famous so my name would become great. Well, my name is great because everyday I try to be like Him. By blessing others daily and setting the example-people will talk and spread the good news how God is working through me.
When you’ve been called then, transformed into chosen there will be no need to announce it. Your chosen lifestyle will announce you.
Excerpt from Out Of The Heart Flows The Issues Of Life (unpublished)
Author of Exhaling Life Changing Poems
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my website www.allthingsrpossible.highpowersites.com
Appearance on WWL Channel 4 w/ Sally Ann Roberts "The Morning Show".
Various appearances on "The Light of Jesus Show" w/ Betty Howard.
First book signing at Walgreens' 5300 Tchoupitoulas in May 2003.
Speaking engagements at local churches.
Awarded "Single Heart in Christ 2003" by Tulane MBC
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