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Effective Communication - A Study in King Solomon's Proverbs

by Pastor Bobby Keating  
7/26/2008 / Christian Living


Can you imagine having a key that could unlock any lock or door? We hear of people, heroes or heroines, being awarded the 'key' to the city. This is simply a metaphor for the privileges extended to the honoree. What if you literally had a key that could unlock any door or lock? Now let's take that another step further or as Emeril Lagosse (a very famous Chef on the Food Network) puts it, let's kick that up another notch. Suppose you had a key that could unlock every lock or door and also had the ability to break down any barrier that you encountered? Can you imagine the possibilities?

On Solomon's Key Ring, he had just such a key. You are about to learn one of the most powerful 'keys' that you will ever learn. This is the key to success in relationships, in family matters, in situations with your job or career or business. This key can open the minds of your employer or your employees, your business associates or customers, your relatives or your children, your friends and even your enemies.

This is Solomon's key to effective communication. Don't let the name fool you. Again preconception and social conditioning confront us. Some terms have been misused to the point that we have become desensitized to their actual meaning. I'm sure that when you complete this section of our study of Solomon's Keys to success you'll have a completely different interpretation of 'effective communication'.

There are several Proverbs that deal with effective communication and support a very important idea that relates the heart (the seat of emotion) and the mind (the seat of intelligence). These are only a few for brevity's sake.

Proverbs 15:7 (NIV) says, "The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools."

Proverbs 15:28 (NLT) says, "The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words."

Proverbs 16:23 (NIV) says, "A wise man's heart guides his mouth, and his lips promote instruction."

Proverbs 27:3 (Amplified Bible) says, "For as he thinks in his heart, so is he."

There are many passages that speak of the tongue or of our methods of communication. The important thing for us to realize is that we can either speak life into a situation or person or we can speak death into a situation or a person.

Before we continue let's take a moment to look at what the Bible has to say about one of the most powerful members of the human body the tongue.

James 3:4-6 says, "And a small rudder makes a huge ship turn wherever the pilot chooses to go, even though the winds are strong. 5 In the same way, the tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire. 6 And the tongue is a flame of fire.
James 3:2 says, "Indeed, we all make many mistakes. For if we could control our tongues, we would be perfect and could also control ourselves in every other way."

1 Corinthians 14:9 (New Living Translation) "It's the same for you. If you speak to people in words they don't understand, how will they know what you are saying? You might as well be talking into empty space."

James 1:19 "Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

1Peter 3:10 "For the Scriptures say, "If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies.

1 Peter 4:11 Do you have the gift of speaking? Then speak as though God himself were speaking through you. Do you have the gift of helping others? Do it with all the strength and energy that God supplies. Then everything you do will bring glory to God through Jesus Christ. All glory and power to him forever and ever! Amen.

There are too many pages in the Holy Scripture that talk about 'effective communication' to list here with reproducing the entire Holy Bible. I brought these scriptures into play simply to give an idea of the absolute power that is wielded in our tongue or our speech.

For the purposes of this study we'll concentrate on the instructions and admonitions given us in The Proverbs.

Before we begin with the methods of 'effective communication', let's take a look at the effects of non-effective communication. This situation is more prevalent and more easily identified.

There have been millions of ideas and innovations totally ignore for one reason. It may not have been that the idea way a bad on but the method of communicating the idea was defective. In your home and in your work there are probably a ton of instances where ineffective communication has resulted in misunderstanding or the rejection of a great idea.

We have discovered through a survey of CEO's and corporate level managers that the greatest problem with industries today is ineffective communication. It can quickly determine the life or the death of a company. Bringing this to an even greater personal level, ineffective communications or better yet, the lack of effective communication skills has been the ruin of many relationships, personal and business. As you learn and master the methods that Solomon offers in effective communication, you will not only see a dramatic.

We can demonstrate the effects of ineffectual communication at home, a setting in which we all are involved. Most women are right brain dominant and most men are left brain dominant. This equates to an often uncomfortable problem. Women have a need to feel connected and because of their emotional disposition, they feel a need for meaningful communication. On average a woman will speak from 25 to 50 thousand words per day. Men on the other hand are less interested in emotional connection and usually speak only 15 to 25 thousand words per day.

We see the effect of this in deteriorating relationship.

Often, at home, parents poorly communicate with their children, often destroying the emotional well being of their children. It is so often that parents denigrate their children for a childish act rather than encourage the child to act differently. Too often parents convince their children that they are 'stupid' or 'useless' rather than encouraging the child in a positive manner to do better.

In the following pages, we will demonstrate the effective communication skills that will propel you to an ever greater level of success in all areas of your life, especially those that will help you become a more successful communicator of God's message.

Pastor Bobby Keating is an Evangelist, author, teacher, success coach, and Director of The Christian Success Institute. He has a passion to help others become Successful Christians. Pastor Bobby's Blog (http://pastorbobby.com).He offers a free marketing mini course at http://christianvisionary.com

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