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by Richard L. Provencher  
8/15/2008 / Family

From my experiences there are many men looking for someone special to share their life. And I can only reflect on my own success. I was a bachelor 33 years ago, and after two dates, I proposed to my precious, who at the time had three children. We now have a fourth and he is going on 41.

As a bachelor, I made the decision to seek seriously a good lady to spend my wife with. Traveling with friends to the bars did not excite me because it seemed both parties were after only one thing, a one night stand to see if it could work. And from the chats with my friends, these one night stands turns out to be nothing more than a score card for those fellows.

Friends of mine shared similar thoughts to find a lady who can laugh, encourage, with a caring and considerate attitude. Beauty and a robust bust was not even on the early part of the list. Women, in my estimation, do not realize men are grown up little boys who of course would never admit it. I am speaking of experience, since at the age of 65 and having worked with families in 22 years of social services, I do have insight.

Men can be found at church socials, community clubs, not-for-profit organizations, volunteer groups and I must not leave out dating clubs, although I have not discovered any friends who have been successful there.

My bachelor friends who were in the age range of 25-30 didn't just consider single ladies, they looked seriously at those who had been divorced mostly, since they wanted no barriers if things proceeded well. I am talking about friends who desired to settle down with a family, who did not wish to have legal fights with wayward husbands, nor being the one who was on the rebound from an unsuccessful relationship.

So ladies, ALLOW your husbands-to-be to open the car door for you, carry the groceries and help with the children. Talk to the man of your future life about how both parents should support each other, through thick and thin.

I might sound like an old fuddy-duddy, because I believe sex before marriage is lethal. Save it. Children can be destructive to the intrusion of another dad. Make sure they understand they will not be allowed to come between both parents. NEVER nag each other, build each other up in front of other adults, touch each other a lot, a hand on an arm, an embrace. Kiss and hug often, and spend time with your loved ones. And above all, pray with and for each other.

Why do I think the above works? After 33 years, my wife, Esther and I are still on our honeymoon. And in the beginning we agreed to give 100-100 to each other. When I had my stroke eight years ago, I found out how much my wife loved me. And it is such a nice feeling.

(c) Richard L. Provencher 2008

Richard enjoys writing poems; many of which have been published in Print and Online. He and his wife, Esther are also co-authors of stories and a print novel. They are "born again" Christians and very busy in their church, Abundant Life Victory International, in Bible Hill, Nova Scotia.

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