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Go West Young Man
by Beth LaBuff
1/23/2009 / Humor
In Old English, on the sheepskin
Conferred from Mid-State College,
Joe Peacock proudly eyed his name
And reveled in his knowledge.
He headed home on gravel roads,
Past the dirt road junction,
With grandiose ideas to
Increase the farms production.
With eagerness to implement
New methods and techniques,
But on deaf ears his concepts fell,
Were squashed down, so to speak.
Self-righteous anger boiled to
A discontented state.
Old farmers with archaic ways
That would not be his fate.
A deft smooth-talking salesman,
Whose snaked tongue dripped with oil,
Filled young Joe with promises
Of western fertile soil.
"A progressive farmer should not
Stay here when I've land to sell.
Go west, young man, and leave this farm.
Just bid the past farewell."
Sans common sense with a sound mind,
Joe bought the proffered land.
Paid the con with currency
Then shook his clammy hand.
Joe took his old green tractor
And a wagon for the load,
Donned a sign, "Westward or bust!"
Then throttled down the road.
Drove through "What Cheer" in Iowa,
In Colorado "Hygiene",
Aye-yi-yi! the names of towns!
What were "town fathers" thinking !?!
One evening's stop at a cafe
On his cross-country tour,
He went inside a restaurant
And ordered soup du jour.
He puzzled o'er the mystery meat's
Stringy perpetual chew.
The waitress mumbled, "jackrabbit"
How gross! Hare in his stew!
As on he traveled he recalled
Sage council from Bugs Bunny,
"Hey doc, be careful that you don't
Turn left in Albuquerque."
At length his destination reached,
His eyes surveyed his land.
His mind pow'rless to comprehend
And slow to understand.
Hoodwinked! the word came to his mind.
He pondered what he'd done.
His farm was situated in
The Grand "abyssal" Canyon!
He tossed his sheepskin in the gulch
And then he had a notion.
He'd contour farm the canyon
To stop the soil erosion.
For I have learned, in whatever state I am, therewith to be content. Philippians 4:11 KJV
Copyright Beth LaBuff 2017
Before Beth LaBuff and her husband, Tilman, moved to the high desert of Arizona, she lived most of her life surrounded by the cornfields of Adair County, Iowa.
Read more articles by Beth LaBuff
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