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by Marijo Phelps  
3/13/2009 / Poetry

I invited the Holy Spirit inside
To come and abide in me
I was promised there'd be a big ZAP
And then I'd be set free

The Lord in heaven heard my prayer
And the Comforter to me He sent
But it seems He had different plans
For the big freedom event

Yes, I was more sensitive
To the whisperings of His voice
I had more power in witnessing
And His became more my choice

But then as we went along
I gradually began to see
things that had been there all along
that sure were ugly in me

My action seemed to fall so short
Of all I envisioned to do
And that quiet voice deep within said
"Let me have more of you."

I thought I gave you my all in all
When You came to live inside
But now I see more garbage, Lord,
"Won't You please throw it outside?"

Some of it was stuck so deep
You had to cut it out of me
But Your love and peace sustained
through all my surgery

I thought I must be "free" by now
But then You found another "thing"
You said it really had to go
Because of all the trouble it'd bring

By now I was a little mixed up
Because I'd been promised, you see
That if I invited You inside
that I really would be FREE

I began to kick a little
And tell You You weren't fair
There are those who'd like to say
You went off and left me there

But You and I know otherwise
You stayed and dealt with me
And when I got a little ornerier
You turned me across Your knee

Oh, sometimes I talked real loud
Trying to drown You out
As I stood up on my hind legs
With a defiant prance and shout

But pretty soon You'd let me know
How miserable it would be
If I hung onto that hunk of junk
And in response You left me

Okay, I'll quiet down and listen
Guess You can take that out too
Because if You really left me
I wouldn't know what to do

well, You've cleaned house a little
And rearranged me here and there
With more of You and less of me
It's like a breath of fresh spring air!!

Oh, it hurt when You made me open THAT door
And sort through what was inside
But I know not to keep doors closed
Because that means I am trying to hide

Sometimes I get lazy and coast along
And pretty soon You're poking at me
Can't You let me rest a minute,
I'm still a child you see

And You smile that paternal smile
And tell me that's about it
In fact Jesus even "hired" You
To come in me and baby-sit

I can see that here and now
But I realize along the way
I might put up more road "balks"
And You'll remind me of this day

Father, Jesus and Holy Ghost
I want to thank You now and here
For being loving and patient with stubborn ME
When I'm obviously anything but a dear!

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(C) Marijo Phelps all rights reserved. Use with proper credits.

About Self

Saved by His grace in 1974, from 9 years of professing atheism into His loving arms. RN for 23 years, missionary with YWAM then statistical analyst for Every Home for Christ over 9 years. Living with my husband in the middle of a mountain meadow. GRIN! Wanting to spread the good news

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