How To Treat Your Husband Like A Man
by Angie Lewis 3/19/2009 / Marriage
Are you treating your husband like a man or like a little boy? The best way to treat your man like a man is by respecting who he is and his God-given position in the marriage. If you treat him as if he were one of the kids he will feel disrespected. No man wants to be married to his mother, but that's what it feels like when a wife constantly nags, complains, or demands things of her husband for one reason or another.
You see I used to do this with my husband. I was a needy, demanding, bossy, and controlling wife. I expected things from my husband because I was not happy with myself. Unhappy wives and husbands become needy and spongy with each other when they feel they are in lack of something or when they fear something. Only Our Creator can fill the lack within us. We must ask Him into our lives and allow Him to lead us.
A big part of the problem is that some men give their wives good reason to treat them like little boys. If you don't assert your position as that of 'being the man of the home" your wife will automatically take up your position in the marriage as if it is her position. A man likes to be the king in his home, but if the wife is already acting as if she is the king where does that leave the husband? The queen? I hope not.
For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the savior. Ephesians 5:22-23
Why do some husbands have affairs? Is the grass really greener on the other side of the fence? A real man doesn't want to be scolded like a child. He doesn't want to be rejected and he doesn't want to be bossed around and told what to do. He wants to be treated like a man. If a husband is not being respected at home the chances of him having an affair, emotional or physical are more prevalent. I'm not condoning affairs because they are wrong? How a wife treats her husband doesn't justify a husband having an affair.
Did you know that God created the man with the spiritual and physical ability to protect his family? It's instinctive for the man to be a protector, overseer, and captain". But if wives aren't allowing their husbands to take care of them, because they think that they can take care of themselves then essentially you are disrespecting him and his position as the man of the marriage. Spiritually speaking, husbands have been given the authority by God to lead the home with loving influence and guidance.
Wives submit to your husbands as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22
If you are having a difficult time submitting to your husband, it is because you have not submitted your life to God. Before a woman can actually understand the logistics of submission she must submit her own life to the Lord. Understand that God did not make the man better than the woman in any way, only different. Let's take a look.
For example, if you were being robbed, who would grab the gun and protect the family, you or your husband? Would it seem odd to you if your husband said for you to get the gun while he hides in the closet? It would. In fact your husband would probably tell you to go in the room with the children and protect (nurture) them, while he confronts the robber. It is totally instinctive for the man to grab the gun, while the women waits in the shadows with her kids. No man in his right mind is going to make his wife protect him.
This is just one way in which God created the sexes different. So, my point is, why in an emergency is it okay for the man to be a man, but when it is during regular home life, with no emergency, the wife bosses and controls her husband around like he is a child? Where is the respect in that?
Let's take a look at another scenario. A wife leaves her children, husband, and duties of the home everyday to work under another man, her employer. Pretty soon co-workers begin making flirtatious advances at her. Every day men at her work are making her feel good about herself. Her husband is not making her feel good about herself, in fact the marriage is strained from her being tired and overworked. If this woman is vulnerable or not really committed to her marriage what do you think is going to happen? That's right, she's going to have an affair.
I have to ask this. Why is she not home under her husband's guidance and protection? How can a man protect his wife when she is leading her own life outside the bounds of the marriage? Wives working out of the home, whether they work for women or men is a major reason for marital breakups, especially when husband and wife have no moral standards or codes established for the marriage. Neither one of them is taking their God given positions in the marriage seriously.
The feminist movement and the ways of society has created some confused women to treat their husbands with disrespect-its an attitude that is fostered through encouraging women to be all that they can be, without the aid of a man. And that's fine, but if she is married is it still fine? How can you treat your husband like the man of the home/marriage when you are already behaving as if you are the man?
Be completely humble and gentle; be patient bearing with one another in love. Make every effort to keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. Ephesians 4:2-3