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Poo Queen

by Melissa Martin  
11/11/2011 / Short Stories

Kate felt knee deep in poo. Her days were filled with poo. Twin boys excreted lots of diaper poo. The German Shepard deposited giant doggie poo piles daily. Resentment began to creep into her thoughts as she shoveled the poo into the poo bucket. 'Alex never has to deal with the poo! No poo at work. Alex is poo-free!' Tears streamed down her cheeks.

"What's for dinner? I'm famished! What a day! I sold two cars and a truck!" Alex rambled on and on about the events of his day not noticing his wife's solemn mood.

"Honey, I can't take the boys a stroller ride tonight. Too much paperwork. Would you mind doing it?" His voice trailed off as he strolled into the computer room.

Fuming, Kate grabbed two identical sweaters and two squirming toddlers. Her anger intensified with every step. Upon arriving home, she caught a whiff of an all too familiar odor. 'Poo. More poo. All I do is take care of poo.' After changing diapers, she put the twins to bed.

Whining and barking, the dog paced at the backdoor. 'Here we go again. More poo. All I do is shovel poo.' After his nightly treat, Kate put the dog to bed.

Wallowing in resentment and self-pity, Kate slumped on the couch and waited for Alex. He always watched the ten o'clock news.

"Honey, where's the remote? It's time for the news." Alex was a man of routine. A calm man. A serious man. A man who disliked conflict. A man who did not yell.

A bubble of fury welled up inside of Kate. "I'm not watching the news tonight! I've spent the whole day with poo diapers and a bucket of dog poo! Poo is everywhere I look! Every day I deal with poo! You never have to be with poo!" Her eyes glared at Alex.

Stunned, Alex starred at Kate. His lips twitched and the right side curved upwards. Pursing his lips he tried not to grin. Trying to stifle a giggle, he dropped his head. "I guess that makes you the Poo Queen." Laughter seeped out.

Bemused, Kate starred at Alex. An involuntary smile tugged at her mouth. A chuckle slipped out. "I'm Kate, the Poo Queen." Irrepressible laughter erupted. Alex grabbed his belly and Kate rocked back and forth. Whenever their eyes met, more laughter followed.

"Honey, the Poo Queen is sorry for yelling." Kate hugged her husband.

"Well, I guess I could change more diapers and scoop the poo on weekends." Alex embraced her and kissed her head.

The following Sunday, after church, Alex shoveled the dog poo into the bucket. He loaded the twins into the stroller and took them for a long walk. He smiled as he thought about his wife, the Poo Queen.

Melissa writes about the God and human connection and condition.

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