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Funeral for a Marriage

by Melissa Martin  
11/13/2011 / Marriage

Maggie wheeled her casket into the first session and climbed in. "I feel dead. My life is over," she muttered. After her youngest son left home for college her husband of forty years divorced her for a younger woman. While the attorneys fought over property, possessions, and alimony, her ex flew to Maui with his new girlfriend and their three adult sons. Maggie felt betrayed, devastated, and numb. She lay in the coffin day and night. Helplessness and hopelessness visited regularly.

Trying to win back her spouse, she lost fifty pounds, updated her wardrobe, and colored her graying hair. It didn't work. Five years later, she conceded defeat. She reclaimed her weight and then some.

In due course, she processed her feelings of grief and loss. Maggie climbed out of the casket and instead laid her marriage to rest. We held a funeral for her marriage. Writing and reading the eulogy was cathartic.

Maggie decided to retrieve and save the happy memories of her life as a wife and mother. Although she continued to experience good days and bad days, she did not burn her wedding pictures. Therapy ended when Maggie bought a condo and moved to Florida.

Melissa writes about the God and human connection and condition.

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