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The United States of Gender Equality

by Charles Wise Jr
1/30/2015 / Politics

There was a time in the not too distant traditional past that we used to call a spade a spade. Alas, those days appear to be gone forever. No longer can we call a spade a spade, for fear of offending the spade. The spade, after all, might be convinced that it is a diamond. Or a heart. Or a club. We do not want anyone to think we are spadeaphobes, now do we?

Today our spades are gender. The role of mom and dad, the titles of Mr. and Mrs., and words such as boy or girl or man or woman are slowly being thrown out of the proverbial window. Our goal: the introduction of a genderless society which embraces each person regardless of the sexual orientation that person believes themselves to be. Never mind the fact that it is biologically impossible to alter sexual orientation. What we believe is, after all, greater than scientific fact.

At what cost, however, will this change come?

Gender itself will first have to be neutralized. Thanks to the folks at Gender Spectrum, that obstacle has already been cleared. No longer will there be male and female, men or women, boys or girls. We'll all just call ourselves purple penguins. There will be big purple penguins and small purple penguins all living happily on the iceberg called America.

From there, all references to that evil, traditional way of identifying sex will be eliminated. It will be removed from all types of applications, signs, and titles. The good folks at City University in New York is actively carrying out this goal. Yes, it will be a little confusing at first, especially for those considerate individuals who call others by their last name. Maybe we could substitute 'P.P.' for Mr. or Mrs.--as in, 'Good day, P.P. Smith.' And no, that's not a reference to bathroom humor. It just a friendly way of greeting our fellow penguins.

As signs and titles and personal references are eliminated, gender inclusive facilities will also be banished. The good folks in Houston know this struggle only all too well, as their city wrestles with the idea of gender friendly restrooms. This means that big penguins of one body type will be able to openly expose themselves to smaller penguins of a differing body type, potentially scarring said small penguins for life. But hey, they'll get over it, right? After all, we're all the same penguin, even if our penguin parts look different.

It's here that the light side of gender neutralization gets a bit dark. There are certain big penguins that prey on smaller penguins. One of the biggest expenditures our social sex change operation will have to consider is the sacrifice of our children. Progress is not without casualties.

Neutral nomenclature will have to include genderless names. Gone will be names like Billy and Susan. New names, similar to Jo/Joe will have to be invented, so the bearers past sexual identity cannot be discovered. Those who insist on traditional names will become social pariahs, and perhaps at some future date be guilty of hate crimes.

There will have to be a reeducation of the general populace in regard to gender neutral speech. (While gender was neutralized first, learning to accommodate those changes takes time.) We'll have to learn to replace 'he' and 'she' with 'they'. Husbands and wives will simply be partners. The Boy Scouts and Girl Scouts will be united under the banner of the 'They Scouts'. Plumbers and electricians will no longer be able to connect the ends of 'male' and 'female' pipes or wires.

Eventually, with the laws of the land now changed, we can expect to see lawsuits between children and their parents. A 'male' child who is convinced he is a 'female' will be able to extract damages from faulty parents because the child is unable to conceive, a right which all 'females' should have. In like manner, a 'female' child, convinced of their masculinity, should also be able to sue for the embarrassment of conceiving, something that 'males' traditionally cannot do.

Sex change operations, which many hospitals are now unwilling to do, will become standard operations. This will dramatically increase the already high rates of health insurance. But, keep in mind, we all have to work together to make our country better.

Speaking of which, in time we will need to change the name of our country, which is named after a man. That's not really related to this issue, but it is an issue of sexual discrimination, a subject likely to increase as time passes. Perhaps we can just drop the 'America' and call it the United States of Gender Equality. The USGE. It does have a good ring.

Ultimately, we will stand together and make all of these changes to our country for the good of the minority. It's not just any minority, mind you, but a very special group of individuals whose needs must come before the majority. This group is special because of the way they think, and it is the power of their thought which is making all of this happen. An explanation is in order.

As previously noted, it is biologically impossible to change the sexual orientation which one is born under. An individual born with girl parts is a girl and the one to whom boy parts is given is a boy. The medical industry can alter a person's body. The person can change the way they dress and act. Yet ultimately, the boy is still a boy and the girl is still a girl. Nothing in the world of science can change this simple fact. What this means, in the big picture, is that transgender problems are an issue of the mind and not of the body. When a person thinks they are someone that they are not, we call this situation a mental disorder. Thus, we are currently in the process of completely changing the way we think and act as a country for a group of mentally distressed individuals.

Not everyone agrees with this truth, especially those within the transgender camp. Some cite evidence which proves that gender confusion is not psychological but biological, with causes such as genetics or prenatal exposure to hormones. Yet the base truth is that a boy is a boy and a girl is a girl. In situations where gender confusion becomes prevalent, we should treat the cause and not cater to the effect. Dr. Paul R. McHugh, the former psychiatrist-in-chief for John Hopkins Hospital, stated that "Transgenderism is a "mental disorder" that merits treatment, that sex change is "biologically impossible," and that people who promote sexual reassignment surgery are collaborating with and promoting a mental disorder."1 What about a nation which changes everyday policy to prevent discrimination?

While the way in which we are approaching the transgender issue merits a good deal of humorIE, purple penguinsthe issue itself is no laughing matter. Our nation is suffering due to a lack of care for mental disorders, and the deteriorating situation within the transgender camp is the crop we are reaping for our inaction. The solution is not to change society, or to neutralize gender, especially when less than one percent of the population benefits from the changes.2 The answer instead is to call a spade a spade. We have a problem, and rearranging the way we live is not the way to solve it.

1. http://cnsnews.com/news/article/michael-w-chapman/johns-hopkins-psychiatrist-transgender-mental-disorder-sex-change
2. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_identity_disorder

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