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My Old Hometown Church

by louis gander  
1/16/2016 / Self Help

There's something that perplexes me
as I, my mem'ries, search,
right here among familiar pews
in my old hometown church.

It's been so many decades now
since I have been around.
Those many years have faded fast
with oh, so little sound.

I sit a-spell and reminisce
in silence that remains,
from walnut pulpit up in front
to stained glass window panes.

The cross behind the pulpit hints
a show of halo's glow.
It seems to be inviting me.
There's much I still don't know.

My eyes drop down in front of me
upon a hymnal book.
I hesitate and ponder some
before I take a look.

Those tunes and words come quickly as
my sorry psyche swims
to words of His "Amazing Grace"
and more familiar hymns.

Familiar are both floor and walls.
Familiar are the lights.
Reflecting back to faces though,
my deepened grief ignites.

So many friends I cannot see.
They've moved or passed away.
No, time and change are not my friends!
How did I go astray?

How many times can God convict
me of my wicked ways?
How many times did I pretend
and did not give God praise?

I crave and plead that time turns back.
It rips my insides out!
It makes me blame somebody else.
It makes me want to shout.

There's something deep down in my gut
that I can't sanitize.
Confession comes, repentance looms
with something in my eyes...

As I stare squarely at myself -
and you know how it goes -
the lightning strikes and thunder roars
as levee overflows.,,

But lonely tears are wiped away,
for love will always be,
as grace holds all of Heaven up
throughout eternity.

My long, sad tears dry from my cheeks
as I, my mem'ries, search,
right here among familiar pews
in my old hometown church.

Copyright 2021 by louis gander.
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