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DRIVING MISS LINZY

by linzy bruno
4/05/2023 / Humor

Growing up, my mom and I could not resist an inside joke about my grandmother. We affectionately called her Mrs. Magoo. That’s because, as with myself and my mother, her mother was among the worst, at least in all of America. Every single time we left her driveway, she would smash into her garbage cans, and then just drive off; pretending nothing happened. No one could get her to admit her severely lacking driving skills and that it wasn’t exactly safe that she was allowed on the roads. This problem must be hereditarily based because when it came my turn, my nana’s unfortunate lacking ability resurfaced like a plague in me.

It’s been many years now since I’ve driven a car. I allowed my license to expire back in 2011 and it came as a huge and welcomed relief, because any vehicle big or small translated into nothing but an impossible mountain in which to climb. My judgment was always off, especially when attempting to drive larger vehicles. It was extremely difficult for me to judge where my vehicle ended (and another began.) I often wonder why they even call them ‘minivans,’ as there is nothing mini about them. Smaller vehicles helped slightly with my inoperable sense of judgment, but having a good sense of where everything ended never came with confidence for me. Nevertheless, being a believer, I always felt God’s watchful Eye was always upon me. Without the Lord’s Safety Net, I would have never been able to muster the courage to even try driving.

My story of hellacious driving started at the age of 16. I remember coming home from school after hearing of so many of my classmates getting their permits. They were so happy and excited at the prospect of gaining a bit of freedom for the first time; looking so forward to those 9PM curfews, while I was left in a group of 1, not that I felt sorry for myself, just very alone in my condition…. I would come home after hearing all about the other kids’ excitement and say to my mother, “All the kids are getting their permits, but I don’t want to. Is that okay?” She, probably relieved, reassured me that I didn’t have to. Then I explained that I was mature enough to know that I wasn’t mature enough to take on such a huge task and responsibility.

Finally, as I approached graduation day, I knew if I was going to be any sort of productive member of society, I had to work and drive my own car, as we lived on the outskirts of town and I figured we always would. So, the spring of that year, I began taking driving lessons. It was a nightmare! This completely uncool, old man did nothing but explain in a highly tense manner what to do, and then scream loudly when I failed to properly follow his instructions. I started feeling really sorry that my parents were paying this guy, and I was getting nothing out of it, so I quit the classes. It didn’t take long for my father to feel the responsibility fall to him, so he started attempting to teach me. He too, ended up screaming, not as loudly, but he lost his temper quickly, which led me to tears.

Finally after 5 attempts at the road test, I got my license and my first official job.( I was able to pay $1,000 for the car because I had been babysitting for kids in the neighborhood and a few other places beginning at the age of 14.) Going back and forth to work wasn’t hard for me. I did that fine. But that first time I ventured out to the bank one Saturday morning to deposit my first pay check, I was too close to the window apparently because my car; a bronze colored ‘Comet’ received its first bit of damage. I hit the brick wall and tried to back up. When that didn’t work, I moved forward, then back, then forward. I don’t even know how many times I did this in the attempt to get free from that wall. Then it was me who was screaming, until I finally got free. I looked around and didn’t see any sign of life and suddenly realized on Saturday morning the bank isn’t even open! After my ridiculous problem though, I was relieved that no one saw and drove home in tears.

My brand new second hand car was covered in scratches on the drivers’ side door.

Then another time, I was out one night; trying to act like other kids my age and hang out in the dance clubs. I can’t even use the excuse of drinking too much though, because I didn’t, but still I tapped a few other cars trying to get out of the parking lot that night. Then, when I had my kids and had to take them places, usually everything was fine, but occasionally when going somewhere new, I would get lost…..SO lost, one time I found we had somehow ended up a couple of towns away from home. That was so disruptive and awful, but what was I to do? My kids needed me.

Then this other time, knowing how bad I was at getting out of parking spaces, I tried this thing to help myself. I would only park in spaces that could be driven out of going forward. So thinking I was being clever and forgetting that there was a cinderblock in front of the car; I drove forward and my car got hung up on the cinderblock! It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life when my husband had to stop what he was doing and rescue me and our 2 kids from that parking lot by summoning help to pull my car off of that cinderblock.

Then, my husband got me my first minivan, despite my concerns about judgment. The only thing that came of that was further difficulty in judging where my vehicle ended, and another began.

One night I had to go to our kids’ school for parent/teacher night and it was incredibly dark in that parking lot. I’m telling you, you could put maybe a piece of paper between my vehicle and the one in the next parking space! The entire time in that school, all I could think about was getting safely out of that space! And boy oh boy, it was like a miracle that I made it without hitting that other minivan! I was amazed at how God did that for me!

Then there was the time we had icy snow drifts on both sides of our driveway and I hit the snow bank and blew out my right head light. There are other examples of my lagging skills, but these are the highlights….

Ironically though, the only accident I was ever involved in wasn’t my fault. I was around 20. Someone hit me because he was running a red light and I was legitimately making a left hand turn with a green arrow. My car was thrown into a ditch and totaled. Actually God was really watching over me because that car was a 79 Pinto; a car with its gas tank at the rear, which they have found is far more likely to catch fire on impact. I suffered for at least a week with a severe concussion. Of course I feared my parents would think it was my fault, but thankfully the attending officer explained what had happened.

For years I wished I could have my own personal chauffer and now finally, I guess you could say I do. Since I’ve forfeited my driving rights, my son has been kind enough and sweet enough to take me wherever I have to go. So in the year 2011, it came as a huge relief when I was finally able to give up driving completely and allowed my license to expire! It just goes to show that we all have varying skill sets.

There is no shame in being bad at something. The things most people are good at, I’m not so good at and the things most people are bad at, I am actually good at. The thing is we can’t force these things. Not everyone was meant to be a singer and not everyone was meant to be a construction worker or a carpenter…And so on….. I know there are those who frown on this way of thinking. It opposes the old adage that “As long as you stick with it and believe in yourself; you can do anything you put your mind to.” But I know it to be true. And, nowhere in the Bible does God promise that we can do anything as long as we don’t give up. In fact, the Bible emphasizes our weaknesses and how we all have our own list of them. God wants us to seek His Face and His Guidance in our weaknesses and learn to depend on HIM, not ourselves. But in God’s Kingdom the way it’s supposed to work is we do our best with what we have and for all else rely on one another and God above all else in order to do everything we do through Him.

Furthermore, since I have forfeited driving, 12 years ago, God has kept me safe and made me able to do whatever I need to do. So my son takes me to the store. So what? God is so GOOD. My son doesn’t mind one bit, in fact he likes to go because he can pick out what he wants to eat for the two week period we go in between shopping trips. God will turn our bad into good. I’m not advocating giving up right off the bat as soon as things get tough. I didn’t do that! I’m saying that God will lead us, as long as we pay attention to what He is telling us. It may not be what we expect. And certainly what is right for us doesn’t necessarily align with what our friends and family are doing and thinking….

This article is a case-in-point, because unlike driving, it came to me naturally, instinctively and readily.

^“For as we have many members in one body, but all the members do not have the same function,” (Romans 12:4)

^“For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that.” (1Corinthians 7:7)

^“And to one he gave five talents, to another two, and to another one, to each according to his own ability; and immediately he went on a journey.” (Matthew 25:15)

^“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.” (Romans 8:28)

NKJV

Linzy has been writing for many years; seriously since her 3 kids were still young and inspirational. She has taken 2 courses in Bible studies and completed "Four Soils" Bible study course in a 26-month period; earning her certification in Bible Counselling.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

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