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Telling the Truth About Santa

by Ruthie Alekseeva  
12/25/2023 / Parenting

A Playground Dispute

“You’re dumb,” Ingrid says, as she watches Zoe hop along the hopscotch squares she has drawn on her pebbled driveway.

Zoe stops stock-still, her eyes scowling, then says,

“Am not. You’re dumb.”

Ingrid places her hands on her hips, and says,

“I’m not the one who believes Santa Clause visits me during the night. My mummy says Santa’s not real. She says he’s only a story. A silly game grown-ups play with their kids.”

“Well, my mummy says he is real,” Zoe shoots back.

“Yeah, so does mine,” Miriam says. “So, what do you say about that?”

“Santa’s not real I tell you,” Ingrid says.

Zoe stoops over, picking up her tor and her box of chalk from off the ground.

“Come on, Miriam,” she says. “Let’s play hopscotch somewhere else.”

Miriam glares at Ingrid.

“Yeah,” Miriam says, picking her tor up also. “We won’t play with you anymore because you said Santa’s not real and that we’re dumb.”

Tears form in Ingrid’s eyes, then they slip down her cheeks.

“He’s not real. He’s not real,” she wails.

“Stop saying that,” Zoe says, as she and Miriam walk away.

Ingrid slumps on the ground, sobbing even harder.

“Please play with me,” she says through her tears. “Please.”

A Fond Memory

Some parents believe they should tell their children the truth about who really places the pretty-papered presents their kids find on Christmas morning underneath their Christmas trees, and as that number rises, exchanges such as the one above aren’t unheard of in schoolyards around the country. These disputes occur despite parents warning their children that they must not look down on kids who still believe in the existence of Santa but an informant close to the source tells me that, unfortunately, incidences such as the one I’ve described still happen, resulting in tears, hurt feelings and broken friendships. That’s sad because kids who correct their friends about their belief in Santa are telling the truth but because of fibs adults have told, they experience pain, rejection and grief. So, what should parents do? Tell the truth, or follow the flow?

As a kid, I loved believing in Santa. When down at the shops, I loved the buzz of meeting him in person. I enjoyed the excitement that kept me awake at night on Christmas Eve, wondering what toys he would leave for me under my tree next morning, and I didn’t even mind the panic I felt, after committing a misdemeanour, from worrying if I’d left it too late to earn back Santa’s good favour. It made Christmas even more special and magical than it already is, but then I grew older and I figured out what really goes on.

We don’t have a chimney, I thought. Santa doesn’t leave presents out for me. Santa doesn’t even exist.

After I realised that Santa’s not real, I felt deep embarrassment at having believed something so ridiculous. I also remember wondering why my parents could lie about Santa living at the North Pole but if I told lies, I’d soon feel a sharp sting spreading across my rear-end.

A Personal Choice

I don’t enjoy lying and so I believe that if I had children, I would tell them the truth.

“Santa’s not real”, I would say. “I’m the one who buys you all these gifts. I’m the one who stays up late into the night, wrapping up each one, so you can find them glittering and gleaming underneath our Christmas tree.

But some parents believe telling the truth about Santa will diminish the wonder and mystery they feel during the Yuletide season. No more bright-eyed children eagerly telling a man in a red suit what they want for Christmas, no more fun games as Elf on a Shelf slowly makes his way around the lounge room and no more smiles of delight at finding half-empty mugs of milk and crumbs of choc-chip biscuits, apparently gobbled up by Santa, early Christmas morning, but I don’t think that’s necessarily the case. I say that because I once had the pleasure of taking a child to see Santa. This child knew from her first Christmas that Santa’s only a fun game adults play with their children but as we walked through the shopping centre, this child spoke about Santa as if he really existed. Then, when we saw him on his golden armchair and she talked with him, she spoke as if he really did have nine flying reindeer with one having a red nose that glowed and it delighted me and the man playing Santa Clause no end. Kids have such great imaginations, that it seems that even if you tell them magical creatures don’t exist, they want so much for them to be real that they believe in them anyway.

So, it seems to me, that even if you do tell your kids the truth about Santa Clause, you’ll still experience the fun of seeing your child’s eyes light up at the thought of a man in red eating the cookies and milk they’ve left out for him. If every parent told the truth, kids wouldn’t have to experience that embarrassment I felt when I finally realised the truth about Santa’s existence and they wouldn’t experience the hurt feelings from playground disagreements about Santa because kids who know the truth wouldn’t feel torn between telling the truth and going along with a lie.   Whatever you choose to do, I hope you and you’re children and all of your loved ones will have a blessed and merry Christmas this year.

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