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ADVERSE EFFECTS: The Fear Of Intimacy

by linzy bruno
2/20/2024 / Christian Living

God wants us to be close to Him. He wants us to crave Him and seek an intimate relationship with Him through Christ Jesus, His Son and our Savior. This may seem like a pretty reasonable request, and that God has our best interest in Mind regarding this arrangement, however, when people have difficulty getting close in their relationships with others, that can carry over and adversely affect their relationship with God also, as this is the only way they know to relate to others.

Relationships are all about emotion, but where there is emotional trouble there is also spiritual trouble; these two go hand in hand. Therefore, when husbands experience great difficulty with marital intimacy, they may also take that same dysfunction into their relationship with God, without even realizing it. In fact, it is not at all unusual for married men to have the propensity to keep their feelings to themselves and even refuse to share what they are going through emotionally speaking with their wives.

Many wives complain that their husbands are just great at doing things for them, but appear to be refusing to allow them any real access to their deepest thoughts and feelings. It’s not uncommon for men, or anyone for that matter, suffering from a fear of intimacy to engage in every opportunity to do good deeds and believe they are in great shape spiritually speaking. They are in essence, keeping God at arms-length, when all the while God is calling them into a closer relationship with Him.

Moreover, as important as good deeds are when they are carried out in faith and obedience, rather than grudgingly, it’s still far more valuable and important that we treat those who should be the closest to us; particularly those in our households with the utmost in loving care, thoughtfulness, interest, self-disclosure and consideration, than it is to spend all our free time running from here to there doing good deeds.

As good as good deeds are, if they are not done with the right heart attitude, and even worse, if the doer is hiding behind his/her good deeds in order to feel right with God, they are actually tainting the beauty and the perfect love God intended as the motive for those good deeds. And, doesn’t that turn a good deed into a mere work of the flesh?

Moreover, without a close relationship with God through Christ, how can we expect to keep Him as our first love when we are so focused on doing good that we avoid reading His Word (His Word to us) and praying (our words to Him) on a regular basis with an unfeigned heart?

God has to be first, and the only way to keep Him first is through a devoted countenance before Him:

“Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.” (Revelation 2:4)

“Bu seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” (Matthew 6:33)

“And you shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all our mind, and with all your strength. This is the first commandment.” (Mark 12:30)

Our example, our Lord Jesus, sought His Father God and spent a great deal of time in prayer:

“Now it came to pass in those days that He went out to the mountain to pray, and continued all night in prayer to God.” (Luke 6:12)

How many times did Jesus pray in the Bible? - JesusAlive.cc

Furthermore, the Bible tells us to ‘pray without ceasing’ in 1Thessalonians 5:16-17. We are so much better off, and we are assured closeness with God if we bring Him into every aspect of our lives.

All relationships require back and forth communication, while distractions from closeness hinder relationships.

Anyone who experiences this unfortunate countenance before God ought to consider that they may be experiencing a fear of intimacy and look to the status of their personal relationships to uncover if perhaps this could be the case. Then, once aware---PRAYER.

If we tend to keep people at arms-length, it’s not a crazy notion that we could be doing the same thing with God.

NKJV

Linzy has been writing for many years; seriously since her 3 kids were still young and inspirational. She has taken 2 courses in Bible studies and completed "Four Soils" Bible study course in a 26-month period; earning her certification in Bible Counselling.

Article Source: http://www.faithwriters.com-CHRISTIAN WRITERS

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