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Quiet Katie: Or How Not to Treat People Who Struggle With Making Conversation

by Ruthie Alekseeva  
1/06/2025 / Short Stories

 

(Based on MARY and Marthas and Marys)

Chapter one

“YAI! YAI! YAI! YAI! YAI!”

Dad lies on his tummy on the bottom of the bunk-bed in the blue bedroom Katie shares with her two older brothers. As he lays there, he reads one of Katie’s favourite books: Each Peach Pear Plum. Her two brothers lie beside him, one on either side, enjoying the rhythm of the much-loved rhyming book.

Katie, however, does not lie with them. Instead, she sits on the top bunk, also listening but with a big smile spreading across her face. Then, out of nowhere, “YAI! YAI! YAI! YAI! YAI!” Katie throws her arms up in the air, then bounces off the top bunk landing smack bang in the middle of Dad’s back.

“YOOOWW!” Dad jumps a mile up into the air, arching his back. Then, landing down on the bed again, he run’s his hand along his startled spine. He says, “KATIE?! WHAT THE BANANAS DID YOU DO THAT FOR?!”

Katie’s smile freezes. Blue tears well up in her eyes, then they spill over her eyelashes. She leans her head back, cries “WAAAAH,” then plants her face in her hands.

Dad’s eyes soften. Pushing her brothers aside, he sits up. He says, “Don’t worry about it, Katie. It’s stopped hurting now. I just got an enormous shock!”

Katie’s cries lessen but she still blubbers a bit. So, Dad puts his arms around her, saying, “I don’t usually read books to you guys, do I? Because usually I’m too busy, so Mum reads them instead. Did you get excited that I was reading to you instead of Mum? Did you get so excited, you jumped off the bed and onto my back?” Katie leans her head against her father’s chest. She rubs some final tears away from her eyes, then she mumbles, “Yes!”

Dad squeezes her tighter. “Well, don’t worry about it, Katie. Hmm, in fact, maybe I should start reading to you guys more often. How about we make a pact on that? I’ll try finishing work a little earlier, if you’ll promise to never ever again jump on my back.”

Dad holds his hand out towards her, then raises his eyebrows, saying, “Deal?”

Katie pauses. She looks up at her Dad. She hesitates, then seeing him grin, she holds out her hand too, grips Dad’s hand tightly and says, “Deal!”

Dad smiles even wider, then says, “Cool! And do you know what else I’ve heard you’re looking forward to?”

Chapter Two

Dad pauses, then says, “Your first day of school!”

Katie nods. She says, “Uh huh! It’s tomorrow. I’ll be in Prep, and Mum says I’ll have so much fun and make lots of friends and learn heaps of new things that I’ve never even imagined.”

Dad chuckles, then tussles her hair. He says, “That’s true! And that’s why I think it’s time for all of you to go to bed now. Your new teacher won’t want you sleepy on your first day of school.”

Katie’s brothers groan and moan, but slip under their stripey bed covers anyway, then, pretty soon, everyone is out like a light.

BURMP! BURMP! BURMP!

Katie hears her parents’ alarm clock buzzing from inside their bedroom. She lays still a moment, then, BOING, she sits straight up in bed. “It’s my first day of Prep. I can’t wait!”

Katie tumbles out of her bunk, then scrambles around on the floor, looking for her shiny new, black school shoes. She finds them under the bed, flicks the dust off them, then pushes her feet inside.

One of her brothers sits up in bed, he crinkles his forehead, then says, “Don’t you think you should take your pajamas off first?”

Katie’s cheeks burn, she takes her shoes off, then races into her parents’ bedroom, saying, “Mum, help me get ready for school, please!”

Then, at last, everything is ready. Katie’s school uniform is pressed and on her body. Her school bag is packed and on her shoulders. And, “CHEESE,” Katie’s parents take her first-day-of-school photo!

Marching through the school gate, Katie feels a little shy, but her mind swims around those feelings, thinking, I’m going to do great! Then, sitting at her new school desk, she waves, as her mum says, “Goodbye,” with a little twinkle, or is it a teardrop, flickering in her eye?

All day, Katie does her very best. She listens when the teacher is talking and tries hard to copy the letters her teacher has written up on the board. But, during the day, her teacher says something that makes her feel awful! She stands tall and says, “Katie, you’re too shy and you don’t talk very much. You’re too quiet, and that’s a problem. You must learn some social skills, and you must learn how to have conversations.” Then, every day of that year, the teacher, right in front of everyone, repeats herself, saying, “Katie, you’re too quiet. You must learn how to talk. Katie, you’re too quiet. You must learn how to talk. Katie, you’re too quiet. You must learn how to talk…”

Chapter Three

And every time her teacher says that, Katie’s head dips a little lower, as she thinks, I used to like myself, but now I don’t. In fact, I hate myself! I didn’t know it’s so dreadful to be quiet, and is that how she teaches anything else?

I mean, does she stand at the front of the classroom and say, ‘Children, you must learn maths. Children, you must learn maths. Children, you must learn maths,’ day after day every day? Or does she give everyone a maths book and read it to them and then show us how it’s done on the blackboard and then give us all time to practice?

I wish she would do that for me with conversations – I wish there were books out there you could buy on how to have a conversation. I wish that conversations could then be explained up on the blackboard, or on something, and then I wish I could be given time to practice.

But soon, the school bully joins in. She grimaces at Katie, then sticks out her tongue, saying, “You’re too quiet, Katie. It must be because you’re a snob.” Then, the other kids join in. They say, “Yeah! You’re quiet because you’re a snob. We don’t like snobs. We’re not going to be friends with you!” Then, the school children become bullies to her also.

Katie feels terrible inside, but, then things grow even worse. A well-intentioned school girl appears, she says, “Katie, I don’t believe you’re a snob because I used to be quiet also and I didn’t say anything either. It was because I didn’t like myself and it was because I was shy but now I’m not shy anymore, and now, I talk all the time! Being like you was awful, but now, I’m not anything like you at all and it’s amazing! I know there’s someone else inside of you, and we all can’t wait to meet her!”

Katie shoots the well-meaning girl a weak smile, says, “Thanks,” then ponders her comment a while. I’m quiet because I don’t like myself? But I did like myself before I started coming to school and found out how most people don’t like quietness, yet, I was still quiet. Now, what else did she say? Being quiet like me is awful? Being not quiet like me is amazing? But isnt’ it rude to say something like that to a quiet person? Yes! It is. Well, how about what else she said. Is any of that true either? Let’s see, she said that there’s someone else inside of me. Someone else the kids at school all can’t wait to meet? Is that true?

Yes, I am shy! Yes, that does make me talk less, but even when I’m at home, where I’m not shy at all, a little louder and a bit more jokier, I still don’t talk that much. So, where is this other person, that everyone wants to meet hiding? Nowhere, I think! So, what this well-meaning girl has really told me, is that she and the kids at school don’t like who I am, and they wish I was someone else completely. Great! That makes me feel even more shy, and knowing this, makes me talk even less.

Chapter Four

Then, good news! Katie wins an award, but she’s not the only one. Two others do as well. So, her teacher stands up on stage and says, “Please welcome, Caroline, to the stage. Caroline is top of her class at spelling. Today, she is receiving an excellent-manners award!” The audience smiles and claps as Caroline shakes the teacher’s hand, then exits the stage.  

Then, Katie’s teacher says, “Now, please welcome Julie. After school, Julie cares for injured animals. Yay for Julie! But, today, she is receiving, a tidy-desk award!” Once again, the crowd smiles and applauds. Then, it’s Katie’s turn. Katie smiles wide and draws her shoulders back, waiting for her introduction. Then, her teacher says, “Today, Katie is winning a neatest-handwriting award…” Katie’s teacher pauses, as if searching for something to say, then makes a weird face and says,”…and she’s really shy and quiet.” This time instead of smiling and applauding, the audience smiles and laughs. One even calls out, “That’s true! We should call her Quiet Katie,” and then they do and sometimes they don’t even call her that because sometimes, they simply just call her Quiety.

Quiety?! The nickname makes Katie’s shoulders slump and a small pain grows inside her chest. She looks at her award, without smiling, then thinks, Why did the other girls get introduced by what they’re good at, but I got introduced by what I’m bad at and, not only that, rather than name me after something I shine at, now their calling me by what I’m bad at. Why not call me Neaty instead. After all, I did just win a neatest-handwriting certificate?!

Later that week, Katie’s parents take her to church. Katie smiles and thinks, Surely, I’ll find relief here. They’re Christians. But not so. Now that she’s not a toddler anymore, after observing her for a while, an adult says to her, “You know, Katie, you’re such a nice person, but you’re quiet.” Hearing her, another adult nods and says, “Yes, Katie, you could be so amazing, if only you weren’t so quiet.”

Yowch! Katie cradles her stomach with both arms. It feels like I just got sucker-punched. ‘You’re a nice person?’ that had made me smile. I thought, finally, I’m about to receive a compliment, but then, BAM, ‘BUT you’re quiet.’ That wasn’t a compliment that was another painful rubbing of my face into what I now realise is a very deep and hated flaw. Then, DOUBLE-WHAMMY!  The other adult had said, ‘Yes, Katie, you could be so amazing!’ That had made me smile again, but then, POW, ‘IF ONLY you weren’t so quiet.’

Chapter Five

Katie continues her ruminations, thinking, And what makes this even more painful, is that the adults at church and school, in fact every place I go, give me “compliments” like these all the time. It’s making me hate hearing the word ‘but’ because who knows what’s coming behind it? And it often feels like my quietness and my shyness are the only things that anyone ever talks to me about, and, anyhow, is any of the above good social skills, and if not, when will these adults and children learn some social skills of their own?

Then, Katie’s parents’ drop her back home where she lays on her bed, her eyes moist. I feel like I’m in the movie ‘Groundhog Day.’ That’s an American movie where the same thing happens every day, every day, every day, until the main character becomes suicidal and, completely exasperated, drives himself over a cliff. I’m beginning to feel the same way! I hate myself more and more, and this constant obsessing over my quietness has fixated my mind on my quietness also, and now it’s the only thing that I can think about too and how I can get my quietness to go away.

The next week, Katie’s family return to church. While sitting around, she hears some of the adults of her church saying, “Isn’t it strange that Katie’s so quiet?” Others respond by saying, “Yes, it’s so weird! I wonder what we can do to fix her. She’s going to have a terrible future. Who will give her a job, and who will ever want to marry her? I wonder if she has any friends.”

Things can always get worse, and this week they do because the adults at church are saying these things while Katie is sitting right there right in front of them. They seem to think that because my mouth doesn’t work, my ears don’t either, but I can hear every word they’re saying and it’s making me feel like I’m nothing. How would they like it if people sat around talking about how weird and strange they think you are and how they don’t think you have any friends and wondering how they can fix you? These people talk about how I don’t have any social skills but are those good social skills either? Well, I think the people who are saying these things about me, right in front of me, are the weird, strange ones that need fixing! I think they’re the ones who need to learn some social skills, and I can’t at all figure out how any of them have any friends whatsoever!

Chapter Five

They make me feel like I’m the church freak, but, then again, I feel like that everywhere I go, school, music practice and even athletics training, because this is pretty much everyone’s reaction to my quietness, no matter where I go!

Now, aged in her early teens, amidst all the pain swirling around inside her, a new feeling grows on top of all that because a big buffoon starts coming to Katie’s church and constantly laughs at how quiet she is. In fact, he laughs about it every time he sees her. Others join in the laughter and jokes, with one adult asking her a question, then when she’s slow to reply, saying, “Nup! The lights are on but nobody’s home!”

Tears sting Katie’s eyes as she thinks, I didn’t reply straight away because I was trying to think of an answer, then I was trying to think of how to put the words in the right order and then I was trying to think of how to say my response using lots of words, so I wouldn’t get laughed at and berated again for only speaking concisely. Now, not only do I feel like the church freak, I also feel like the church joke. No one should ever be made to feel that way!

But her emotions don’t stop there. Now, Katie can’t find her parents. Then, one of the deacons says to a lady standing nearby, “Excuse me, Mrs Hartley, could you please take Katie home at the end of the night? Her parents went home early because her brother became ill.” Mrs Hartley looks over at Katie. She stares at Katie’s, now, lackluster demeanor, then rolls her eyes and says, “Oh, well this, should be a riveting ride because Katie never says anything.”

Katie’s shoulder’s slump even further as she thinks, Great! Now, I feel like the church burden as well. It feels like everyone wants me to leave and like everybody avoids being around me. During the sermon last week, we learnt that when a person contracted leprosy, they had to live outside the walls of the city and if they saw a passerby coming near, they had to shout, “Unclean, unclean,” so the leprosy wouldn’t spread to them either. I feel like one of those diseased people but instead of shouting out “Unclean, unclean,” instead, I feel like I should call out “Quiet, quiet,” so everyone knows to stay away from me also!

Chapter Six

Then, as Katie and Mrs Hartley leave the church carpark together, Katie glances at the sign above it. The sign says: Mungaree Community Church – All Welcome. Katie stares back down at the ground again, thinking, Is that really true though? I mean, what about quiet people? Are they welcome at this church also? Because it feels like quiet people are only welcome here, if we can find a way to change, and it feels like I’m only welcome here so I can be the butt of every single person’s jokes about quietness.

Then, Mrs Hartley points at a girl beside them. She says, “See that girl over there? That’s how you’re supposed to be: extroverted and chatty. Yep, that girl is wonderful. Shes is extroverted and chatty.”

Katie glances at the girl Mrs Hartley is pointing at. Then, she stares back at the ground, her heart sinking. That’s Andrea Beechwood! She’s the most extroverted, chatty person I know! Why are extroverted, chatty people put on a pedestal for me to emulate? How am I ever supposed to be like them, and why not point out someone lower down on the extroversion/chattiness scale? Perhaps, then I’d have half a chance of achieving it.

Then, the next week, back at church, the adults are sitting around again, chatting. Katie hears one of them say, “I wonder how Katie will ever get a job. She’s so quiet and never says anything. How will she provide for herself?” The other adults join in panicking about her future.”

Then, Katie remembers a Bible verse her Sunday School teacher once read to her Sunday School class. It said: “Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you of not more value then they?...Therefore do not worry saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’…For your Heavenly Father knows you need these things.”

Katie thinks, This church constantly panics about my future, and they do it right in front of me. It makes me worried about my future too, and it makes me wonder if anyone at this church has ever read their Bible and how much of it they truly believe? Because if a person belongs to a family, like I do, and they truly can’t obtain work or provide for themselves, won’t their parents and siblings provide for them instead? And if a Christian has no parents or siblings, then won’t their church family step in and help provide for them also or do families and churches just leave each other for dead?

Chapter Seven

The next week, the church youth group are asked to do a play based on 1 Corinthians 12 a passage of the Bible that says God Himself has made the church body with various parts, and because of this, the Bible says no one can say to any other member of the church body, “You’re not an eye, we don’t need you” or “You’re not a hand, we don’t need you.”

That night, as they are acting out the play, Katie wonders, Are any of you people hearing any of this?! The Bible says that not all Christians are the same. God made us differently for different purposes. So, you can’t say to me, “Hey, you’re not a mouth, so you can’t be in this church unless you become a mouth.” But that’s what the people here say to me every single time I come to this awful, nasty, rude and cruel place!

Then, Katie notices that 1 Corinthians 12 goes on to say: Those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary. And those members of the body which we think to be less honourable, on these we bestow greater honour and our unpresentable parts have greater  modesty.”

At this church, I often feel like I’m thought of as weaker because I’m quiet, shy and rarely have anything to say, and I often feel the people here are trying to get rid of me by trying to eradicate all of my quietness, making me completely extroverted and chatty. Well, I’d also like to get rid of some of my quietness and I’d love to get rid of all of my shyness but the Bible says that weaker parts are necessary and to leave them alone. And lots of times this church, and my school and every other place I go, has made me feel like I’m one of the less honourable, unpresentable parts of the body, that needs to be covered up, because everyone’s embarrassed of me, but I don’t believe anyone should be made to feel like that even if they are a less honourable, less presentable part of the church body.

Then, Katie becomes an adult. She finally grows up and, at last, she leaves school. But, just before she does, she receives one final report card. The report card says, “Katie is too quiet. She must change.” Katie throws the report card in the bin, her heart hurting, thinking, So, after twelve years of teachers telling me I must change, and seeing that comment on every single report card I’ve ever received, I still didn’t manage to change, not even a little? That hurts! I’m so glad I won’t be receiving one of these report cards ever again.

And now that Katie has grown, she also now has the authority to leave her childhood church, and as she walks out the door for the very last time, she smiles, throws her arms in the air and inwardly shouts, Hallelujah! This is the happiest day of my life! I hope I never have to go to a school or a church like that one ever again, but as Katie goes about her adult life, she realises that pretty much all churches are like that and all schools and all workplaces and all clubs and all organisations and that instead of receiving report cards that tell her she’s too quiet and needs to change but still hasn’t, she now receives workplace appraisals that tell her she’s too quiet and needs to change but still hasn’t and then instead of going onto the next school grade anyway, she gets fired from those jobs.

Chapter Eight

No one, it seems, enjoys people with quiet dispositions, and instead of keeping that to themselves, which I would have thought was a good social skill to have, they let me know and they let me know loudly and brutally by firing me from jobs, kicking me out of parties, kicking me out of Christian ministries and by ending their friendships with me because most people can’t handle sitting with someone who can’t think of lots of things to say.

That’s a painful experience! But do you want to hear something even more excruciating? As a child, some adults had told Katie, “Don’t worry, when you grow up, you won’t be quiet anymore.” But Katie still is and, looking around, Katie now observes that her mum and dad are quiet adults too and so are her grandparents and so are quite a few other people that she knows. So, why was she told as a child, that all quiet people become chatty extroverts when they grow up, when they don’t and, outside of work, why should quiet people even have to? Why isn’t there a place for all of us, especially at church?

Then, Katie experiences another kick in the guts. She notices that despite the fact that some children remain quiet adults, those quiet adults still get married, have children, have jobs and do everything loud, talkative people do. They don’t get fired, like she does, nor do they get kicked out of parties and Christian ministries or have friends end their friendships with them because they prefer being friends with people who have more words to say and louder personalities? Katie wonders, Why is that? Why can’t I have a job or friends but other quiet people can?

Anger and envy grows inside of Katie’s heart, eating her alive! Then, a glimmer of hope! A woman says to her, I used to be terrible at conversations, but then I read this book about how to have deep, long conversations and now I can’t stop talking! A man joins in, he says, “Yes, same here. I could never think of anything to say, but then I did a conversation course and now I also can’t stop talking! 

Katie’s heart picks up! She thinks, So, they do make books about conversations, and they even have conversation classes. Why didn’t my school teachers know this? Why am I only finding out about this eighteen years later? That’s a long time to go without receiving any instruction on how to talk to people, and it’s a long time to go without having deep and meaningful friendships. Think of all the pain and loneliness I could have avoided if I had known and learnt all this before!

Chapter Nine

So, Katie reads the conversation book this woman gives her and she takes the conversation course the man has recommended, but nothing changes! Nor does she change after reading any other books or taking any other courses about conversations. Katie’s pain magnifies and sometimes she even sobs about it. She thinks, Why do these books and courses work for other quiet people but not for me?! Then, more people throw books and conversation courses her way, saying, “Hey, Katie, you should try one of these.” Katie puts her head down and keeps walking, thinking, Yes, you bozos, I have tried them, and they don’t work for me. Not only don’t they work for me but none of you can even tell that I’ve already tried them. That’s how useless those books and courses have been, that no one can even see from listening to my attempts at conversation, that I have tried them. In fact, when I do try the techniques the books give, and bomb anyway, what do I receive? More laughter and more anger!

Then, a man from church steps forward, he says, “Hey Katie, do you want to know the real reason why you don’t talk very much? It’s because you’re not really a Christian. If you were truly a Christian, words would just bubble out of you, like this.” Then, the man closes his eyes and raises his arms up in the air, saying, “A-mars-bar-mars-bar-shul-a-lull-a-la! A-mars-bar-mars-bar-shul-a-lull-a-la!” Katie rolls her eyes and, while his eyes are still closed, sidles away from him, thinking, Why would anyone want to talk like that?

Then, the very next week and every week after that, that very same man yells at her, every time he sees her and for the whole time that she’s around, saying, “YOU MUST BE ABLE TO THINK OF SOMETHING TO SAY!” And he’s not the only one who yells at her. Wonder of wonders! Katie does the unimaginable! She finally gets a job, a job in a nursing home! She says, “Thank you Jesus! I’ve finally made it through a job interview, and after having lived through such a painfilled life, I can’t wait to help others who are also going through pain!” But the residents at her nursing home don’t like her. They say, “Get outta here! We don’t want quiet people looking after us!” Well, actually, they don’t say it, which would be crushing enough, instead, they yell it. “GET OUTTA HERE! WE DON’T WANT QUIET PEOPLE LOOKING AFTER US!” Then, Katie gets fired, losing her long-awaited-for job.

Heartbroken, Katie bumps into a quiet man who also went to her childhood church when he was a small child. The quiet man says, “I didn’t like that church. It was a really painful place to worship if you were a quiet person. Instead of focusing on whether you’re saved or if you’re on your way to eternal Hell, they focused on how many words you were saying. It’s like they believe that only talkative people go to Heaven.”

Katie nods, relieved to finally find someone who understands what she has gone through. She says, “Yes! That’s exactly what they seem to think. I also used to feel that way. I also felt like the people at that church we’re sitting around with one of those hand-held counters baseball umpires use to count how many runs each team has scored, but instead of counting runs, they were counting how many words I spoke per day because at the end of the morning, I would be given a run down on exactly how many words I had said, and what a naughty, braindead girl I was because I had spoken so few of them!”

 Chapter Ten

The quiet man laughs and says, “Yes, they would give you a run down at the end of the night. They would say, ‘Oh boy, you didn’t say anything at all again,’ but I had though. I had said, ‘Hello,’ and ‘How are you,’ and then after that, nothing else came to me, so I just sat quietly. And as I wasn’t old enough to drive myself home yet, what else was I supposed to do?”

Then, Katie has a thought. I was so depressed and focused on my quietness and my inability to make conversation, I never really noticed that this guy was the same. I wish I had though! Maybe, we could have sat together and protected each other from these crazy, rude, every-one-has-to-be-the-same-as-us extroverts. And all those adults used to wonder who would want to marry me. Well, perhaps a quiet man would want to marry a quiet woman? So, what were they all worried about?!

Then, Katie has another thought, If chatty extroverts don’t enjoy the company of quiet, can’t-make-conversation-to-save-themselves-people so much that they fire them, end friendships with them and kick them out of places, why don’t they introduce us to other quiet people, so we can spend time with them instead? Wouldn’t that be a far better social skill to have, seeing as many chatty extroverts are always harassing quiet, conversation-less people to learn some social skills themselves, wouldn’t that be a great social skill for a chatty, extroverted person to learn?

But the quiet man interrupts her thoughts, saying, “Going to that church was a really painful experience, but I’ve found something that has helped. It’s an article written by James Smith back in 1859. It quotes Luke 10:39 which says: Mary sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His words.” This verse is part of the story of Mary and Martha when Jesus came to visit them and their brother Lazarus. During this house visit, Mary sits at Jesus’ feet and listens to Him but Martha busies herself with the food and other preparations, and because of Luke 10:39 and two other verses in the New Testament that mention this Mary, James Smith believes that this Mary was of a quiet, contemplative nature.  

Then, James says in his article: We differ very much in our natural dispositions and temperament. Some are lively, others dull. Some are full of talk, and some very reserved. We carry our natural peculiarities with us into a state of grace. Grace refines, ennobles and regulates our natural propensities but does not essentially alter them. They are Christianised, sanctified and consecrated to God-but remain the same.  

What’s more, J.C. Ryle agrees with James Smith’s analysis. He also believes that, although sisters, Mary was quiet and contemplative but Martha was not. Then, making this assumption, J.C. Ryle says: Observe how different the characters and personalities of true Christians may be. Martha was active, stirring and impulsive; feeling strongly and speaking out all she felt. Mary was quiet, still and contemplative; feeling deeply, but saying less than she felt.

Chapter Eleven

“Martha, when Jesus came to her house, rejoiced to see Him, and busied herself with preparing suitable refreshment. Mary, also, rejoiced to see Him, but her first thought was to sit at His feet and hear His word. Grace reigned in both hearts but each showed the effects of grace in different ways. We shall find it very useful to ourselves to remember this lesson. We must not expect all believers in Christ to be exactly like one another. We must not set down others as having no grace, because their experience does not entirely tally with our own…Let no one despise another on this account. There will be Marthas and there will be Marys in the church, until the Lord comes again.”

Katie pulls her phone out from her pocket. She opens a Bible app. She looks up Luke 10 and reads the whole passage. Then, she smiles and says, “You’re right! I always thought Martha grew angry with Mary because Mary was mingling with the other guests instead of helping Martha with the refreshments, but Mary wasn’t. Mary wasn’t talking! Mary was sitting at Jesus’ feet, listening. And although some think quietness and finding it difficult to think of things to talk about is a sign of pride and snobbery, Mary’s position was actually a posture of humility. She took the lowest place, at Jesus’s feet. She had no wish to be seen, nor did she regard her own ease. Instead, she was intent on getting good from Jesus and her posture was one of attention, meaning she wished to catch every word of Jesus’s and to understand all that He was saying. Jesus was teaching and Mary was intent on attending and listening!”

The quiet man nods. “Yes! she had the posture of a learner. She was a disciple of Jesus. Therefore, she sat down at his feet that she may receive of His words. He didn’t need to say to her, ‘Learn of Me,’ because Mary was already anxious to do so. She also showed a posture of satisfaction. Meaning, that if she could just be within the sound of God’s voice, within the sight of His eyes, that was enough for her. Anywhere with Jesus is where Mary wanted to be!”

Katie smiles. “And that’s the way it is anytime a person who struggles with conversation, in exasperation, gives up and resorts to simply listening is doing. They are showing humility, that they know they don’t have a clue how a conversation works, so why not leave it up to those people who do? They are also showing great social skills by giving you their attention. They are sitting there, trying to catch and understand every word you say. They are intent on learning what others far more talented at conversations than they are are saying, and if you don’t hassle them and tease them about how quiet and useless they are at talking, they receive a great amount of satisfaction from you, riveted to the spot by your much better communication!

“So, don’t tease, berate, ostracise, yell or kick out people who are quiet or who struggle with conversations. Instead, be like Jesus! Seize the opportunity! Instead of sending or driving them away, help them with the loneliness, anger, envy, pain, sadness and boredom they struggle with by making them your captive audience. Teach them, amuse them and entertain them! Tell them about Jesus, until one day, instead of sitting at your feet listening to you, they’re sitting at the feet of Jesus, listening to Him inside one of His heavenly mansions!” 

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