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Why should I minister (or serve) my spouse first?

by Kenneth Peterman  
11/04/2008 / Marriage

There are so many people to minister to or serve, but so little time. Can we set up priorities that are wise and biblical? Can we determine whom to serve first and foremost with our time and energy? The following principle of ministry can help in this process: the more intimate the relationship, the more intense should be the ministry. Let me explain. Think of five concentric circles. When a stone is thrown into a pond circles radiate out from the center - smallest to largest. In the following illustration the wider circles represents the least familiar and the smaller circles represent the most intimate relationships.

The circles should be labeled from the largest to the smallest:

The largest represents our Acquaintances and casual friends.

This level represents folks with whom we have only a passing familiarity such as the mailman, grocer, garage attendant, etc. We might know these folks on a first name basis, carry on light conversation with but never develop a lasting relationship.

The next in size represents the Universal church.

This circle represents the body of Christ in general around the world. We are responsible to pray and provide for them in their need in a very general way.

The next represents the Local Church.

This circle represents the local body of believers. We are responsible to pray and provide in a more specific way for their needs, problems, pressures and fears. The revelation of such immediate needs carries a biblical obligation.

The next represents Family

Two levels represent this circle. 1. The extended family includes all relatives on both sides parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. 2. The immediate family would ordinarily include spouse and children but since spouse is covered in the next circle (the most intimate) this circle only includes children, their husbands/wives and grandchildren.

The smallest or most intimate represents Spouse and Self

Spouse and self must be treated as one. We are to treat our spouse as ourselves because he or she is part of our own body according to the Lord. In Matthew 19:4,5 Jesus uses the term one flesh when describing the intimate bond between husband and wife. (4) 'Have you not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female. (5) And said, For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife and they two shall be one flesh?"

Notice that a spouse is associated with four of the five circles (Universal and local church, family and spouse) in addition to being in the most intimate circle. This makes them more important than anyone else. Too often in Christian ministry the reverse is true. It's not unheard of for wives of church leaders to move into unfaithfulness because their husbands neglected them while ministering to others. Too many leaders are guilty of showering attention upon others while neglecting their relationships and responsibilities at home. While we cannot minister or serve all with the same degree of intensity, we can determine in which circle they belong and use that gauge to regulate the time and energy to spend with them.

While no one scriptural verse connects these circles together, there is a logical progression that comes from the content of each circle. Each one represents individuals for whom we have biblical responsibility. The circles follow in a logical progression and illustrate the overall principle: the more intimate the relationship, the more intense should be the ministry.

View Dr. Peterman's e-book - REMAIN FAITHFUL TO YOUR SPOUSE IN A SOAP OPERA SOCIETY. Go to homepage on Faithwriters.com.Click FIND A WRITER and follow simple instructions or go to my blog: www.biblicalmatters.blogspot.com and click on the name of the book on the right margin.

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