We are not all the same as Christians on earth and we won't all be the same in heaven. "There is one glory of the sun, and another glory of the moon, and another glory of the stars; indeed star differs from star in glory." 1 Corinthians 15.41. If God is like the sun and all Christians like the stars, from earth you can get an idea of proportion and variety. God is much more glorious than everyone. Astronomers tell us that there are stars in space of many different sizes and brilliance, some much bigger than the sun. Simlarly each person in heaven will shine with a different brightness. Some will be much brighter than others.
If we were all the same in heaven where would the concept of justice be? Paul the apostle endured shipwrecks, lashings, and plenty of other trials, as well as walking with God and having speaking and writing ministires. He won't be the same as someone who barely knows Jesus and does very little for him. Otherwise the concept of fairness goes.
On the one hand there is a parable about workers in a vineyard in Matthew 20. All agreed with the pay rates. However some were hired late and worked a lot less. Yet all were paid the same. For me the payment is heaven. All those working for God will get to heaven. The first payment.
On the other hand there is a second payment. In Luke 19 a nobleman gave his slaves a pound each, and went away. The first traded making ten more pounds, the second made five pounds, and the third hid his. When the nobleman returned he rewarded the first with ten cities, the second with five and the third had his pound taken away. So each received rewards in proportion to their actions. I believe rewards in heaven will be in proportion to service on earth.
Even Jesus deemed it important to sanctify himself, suggesting strongly that there is a link between sancification and quality of service.
If theoretically we were all going to be the same in heaven once we accept Jesus as Saviour, and then go passive in faith doing little it does not tally with scripture and observation. Anyway if I follow Jesus closely enough the Holy Spirit will actively guide me and give me opportunities.
Don't rule yourself out. Some years are relatively more productive than others. Only God is the true evaluator of each person's worth and life.
I keep asking God to show me what He wants me to do and trust Him absolutely to fulfil His plan in my life. It is the one most natural to me and definitely the best for me. If I can't trust God who can I trust? I trust God more than I trust myself. God knows more about me than I do.
May God bless and strenghten you.
Michael Hume. Reads the Bible and prays or waits daily. Believes fasting is needed to humble oneself before God. Enjoys sharing insights from God. Copyright belongs to author.
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